Music/Acting - Performance Anxiety

Recently, I had the opportunity to play piano for a talent show at my college. Before walking on stage, I was quite nervous. My cue came much earlier than anticipated. Even after taking a few seconds to get ready, I really wasn't. It being my first time to play piano on stage, for an audience, didn't help matters. I messed up what I had thought was fully memorized and sufficiently learned. Apparently, it was not. My friends and other audience members say that they didn't notice anything, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it. I am now almost glad that I do not take piano lessons anymore, as having to perform like that on a regular basis would be nerve-wracking.

All of this got me thinking about performance anxiety. In my experiences as an aspiring musician and an actor, the topic has arisen once or twice. In the musical, Once Upon a Mattress, initially going on stage was a bit scary, but after the initial entry, everything else was easy. (Even though I was a minor role, it was still intimidating. Fears are seldom rational, least of all mine.) In my role as the heroic boat captain in Shakespeare's The Tempest, I had few lines, and less stage fright than in previous roles.

By definition, performance anxiety is stress caused by the fear of an approaching performance. It covers music and acting, but can also encompass athletic activities. For some, it stems from a fear of forgetting how to do something. Others feel the need to always perform well. I find it difficult to determine the exact cause for my own performance. The size of the audience can affect the level of anxiety, but not always. Once, I performed in a dinner theatre show of a Sherlock Holmes comedy trilogy. The audience was fairly small, but I still felt as much anxiety as before.

Another factor in performance anxiety is familiarity with the audience. Most of my performances have been to sympathetic audiences (with many friends and acquaintances), and who want me to succeed in what I'm doing. I can take comfort in this fact, yet I still retain some performance anxiety.

However, the anxiety in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. For one thing, it can keep you serious - serious in the sense that you go on stage and do what you came to do, whether that is to amuse or inform. Also, the nervous energy, I have been told, can be channeled into the actual performance to improve it. I'm still not sure exactly what that means, but it may be like vibrato: you don't do it, it just happens.

The important thing to remember is that the audience is on your side and wants you to do well. They took the time out of their schedule - and sometimes have paid - to come see you perform. Channel your nervous energy and their good will, and you will perform well.

At least, I think so.